A year gone by…

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I gotta admit 2012 was not my BEST YEAR- not even close! 25th year of my life actually! It came in quick and passed by even quicker – a good thing? MAY BE! But nevertheless painful!

However 2012 had loads of memories created for me – some good, some bad, some really bad and some ugly…extremely ugly! But I know I am gonna treasure each and every memory simply because I have had the opportunity to learn a lot from them…priceless wisdom some would say!

The good memories made me realise I am worthy of happiness, joy and peace just like every other human being…that life is a gift given to us to enjoy every breath we take (please don’t sing Every breath you take), every moment is precious and can never be brought back so avoid and spare me the fretting and grumbling please!! Don’t just exist, LIVE!!!

The bad made me realise there can be no good without the bad. You gotta feel pain to truly appreciate pleasure. More importantly it made me empathetic, made me check every word that comes outta my mouth, made me think before I act carelessly as I now I knew and could feel the pain that another would/could feel in a given similar situation.

And of course the ugly, the ugly that made me fall to the bottom of the deepest pit and at the same taught me that nothing…ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can keep you down unless and until you wanted to remain there!! I know now I can survive anything and move on. The human mind is a magnificent thing.

I met a lot of people in 2012. I developed several relationships with  people of varying levels…levels I never knew existed! Some continue to exist, some just phased off, some required me to deliberately shut them off! Interesting! Two things however stood out to me:

  1. If someone cares about you and is kind to you… BEWARE!! Be prudent and alert. If the person still continues to care…Never NEVER let that person go…Cherish him/her always! On the other hand If you care about someone and that person is suspicious at first…let him/her be…continue to care and be kind. Despite such caring and kindness, however, if that person does not seem grateful…let him/her go….do not look back!!
  2. Do not trust easily. However if you did and this trust was broken..don’t lose hope it only makes you stronger.

Bottom line is that 2012 did manage to make me older, wiser and smarter (some of my friends thought that was not possible –in your face guys) and I am thoroughly grateful for that! 

Now for the wishes:

  • To all the people I have known before 2012 started and have continued to be a part of my life – Thanks for being there for me…know you are treasured and cherished. 
  • To all those who I met in 2012 and continue to want to be in my life – Thanks and beware I only get crazier.
  • To those who are no longer want me around – Thanks for the memories and for teaching me at such an early age that there exist D**kheads like yourself that I have to keep away from.

On this beautiful note I welcome 2013…you can’t be worse than 2012 and even if you are BRING IT ON..I can deal with you…I know I can!!

Happy New Year!!

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A brand new year!
A clean slate on which to write
our hopes and dreams.
This year:
Less time and energy on things;
More time and energy on people.
All of life’s best rewards,
deepest and finest feelings,
greatest satisfactions,
come from people–
people like you.

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Free advice : Take it or Leave it!!!

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Hmmm …. Soooo here is free advice for those who care… My life experiences have taught me thus:

If someone cares about you and is kind to you… BEWARE!! Be prudent and alert.
If the person still continues to care.. Never NEVER let that person go.. Cherish him/her  always!

On the other hand
If you care about someone.. And that person is suspicious at first…let him/her be…continue to care and be kind. Despite such caring and kindness, however, if that person does not seem grateful…let him/her go….do not look back!!

What pisses me off?

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What pisses me off is the fact that a beautiful friendship that could’ve lasted between a boy and a girl gets fucked up…totally fucked up…cause the girl develops ‘feeling’, feelings of bloody ‘love’ for that boy who she thought was the one person who truly understood her, who cared for her, who she could share her deepest thoughts with…all fucked up!!

In reality the boy sees girl as merely a ‘friend’, good friend even..but LOVE (na huh…zilch!!). Girl is faced with the hurtful dilemma of balancing friendship and her feelings of love. There are moments she wants her old buddy…times when she wished he could love her, acknowledge her feelings at least..moments she wants to spend time with him jjust to hear his voice and moments when she does not even want him in sight!

A pitiful condition…a condition where love fucks up a friendship!:(

Blessed – Elton John

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Hey you, you’re a child in my head
You haven’t walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you’ll be blessed

I know you’re still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I’ve ever seen
Anyway you’ll be blessed

And you, you’ll be blessed
You’ll have the best
I promise you that
I’ll pick a star from the sky

Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You’ll be blessed 

I need you before I’m too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you’re blessedImage

God and Me in troubled times

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I always fight with You,

I always say I will do what I want,

But You invariably interfere with my life,

However much I want to deny You,

You seem never to allow me forget the say You have in my life,

Why? How? I am still trying to find out.

I live in a world of denial,

Because deep inside I know,

However hard I might try and fight You

You would never allow me to win,

Is it that You cant see me happy?

Cause as soon as happiness comes knocking at my door,

You show up and play Your game,

That is why I say I tend to doubt You, 

Because You do whatever it is You feel like,

And never ever what I want.

May be I am selfish,

But why do You always choose me and not others?Image

I know i am not…

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I know i am not a perfect friend,
You have hurt me many times and i’ve tried to mend.
I never questioned you back.

Maybe i should say goodbye.
Would it be better for me to go?,
I asked you, and you said “No”.
Why say no when i hurt you so bad,
But believe me,
you’re not the only one that’s sad.
I made my best friend hurt like mad,

If i left would you be glad?.
Deep in my heart,
I’ll always know,
Even if i go!